Eternal Sunshine of the Cathartic Mind

Ahhhh. Breathe in. Hold, and exhale. Close your eyes and let go of the tension in your body, and the shit that fills your brain. I’m no guru, no yogi, and no master of meditation either. I am however, getting better at the art of acceptance and knowing when to take a step back and just….. Ahhhhh…..breathe.

We’ve had quite a hectic few months. Living out of of a suitcase for 5 weeks as we crossed North America and back… Residing within the tight confines of our beloved van with the same group of smelly, tortured artists… Running out of new music on our iPods… Tiring of stale views and a relentless diet of cheap crap to go… no hot water in the lackluster shower… No shower curtain either… and then BAM! Some decent conditioner. Hair is clean, and finally soft. If only for a day. It is indeed the little things that matter.

Getting home from tour is always this weird transition for me. Adjusting to static life when all you’ve known is motion for weeks on end is more difficult than you’d expect. There is actual withdrawal… ‘tour withdrawal’ as we call it, and it’s a very real condition! On top of that there are the additional stresses of returning to your family or menial day job, trying to have conversations with your loved ones when all that’s on your mind was that last show, and they don’t want to hear about it. I didn’t unpack for 5 days. Maybe it was my way of still feeling like I was on tour.

Then again, it didn’t really matter as we were off to Regina again in only a matter of days for the Junos. Compared to the -20C weather we had suffered when there last, we actually welcomed the balmy -5C and sun. April 20th and it’s still winter. You have to love Canada. Do you know what it’s like to stay in the very same hotel room you stayed in a month prior? My phone even remembered the wi-fi password. No hot water, or water pressure again. The shower curtain did get fixed upon our request.

Now we’re back home and counting down the weeks until we leave for another 5 week stint. I couldn’t be more excited as this time it will be warmer and winter will have finally passed… Please, oh please pass and at the very least, don’t return for a while so that those 2am roadside piss breaks are more hospitable.

I’m equally excited as I have come to the conclusion that we are truly at our best when we are on the road, working as a team, rolling with our routine and playing shows every night. That’s our happy place.

So, after a particularly mentally stressful day back home in city life, I found myself in a lowly place, and headed to my local liquor store on Broadway to pick up some beer and head down to the beach. I grabbed an 8 pack of pils… My go to for quick and cheap… And hopped on my bike. Funny thing was, on my bike ride, the sun was shining so intensely and at that perfect angle where it penetrates even the darkest Raybans. I felt a warmth come over me that gave me shivers. I took it in. Let it all go… And smiled. 15 muscles working in harmony to erase my demons.

Later that night, a few good gents picked me up to take me to a show at the Media Club where our friend Hannah Epperson was playing, both solo and with the group Morlove. What a stellar show I might add. It was truly grounding to sit on the worn wooden floor at the foot of the stage and to be carried away by their intimate sounds. It was a healthy reminder of why I love music so much.

It is a strange dichotomy this life of road and home, and I’m learning to take the good with the bad in both. And I’m remembering one of life’s golden lessons – that it’s the little things that get you through it all.

Speaking of little things, arguably one of the best parts about being excited to hit the road again for a summer tour? Having to pack less stuff ; )


One Response

  1. Juno says:

    Listened to the CD you gave me today, it was amazing! Thank you.

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